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I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
My friend wants to know if you think Iām hot.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
Don`t think I didn`t notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.