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"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
Theme parks can snap a clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph, but bank cameras can`t get a clear shot of a robber standing still.
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
Do you think all the giraffes sit around and watch Margaret in Nebraska give birth?
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.