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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
I do not have commitment issues... I`ve been buying the same brand of vodka for 8 years!
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you`re not being arrested?
Marriage counseling - because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they are being an a$$
Don’t expect a “bless you” after the 4th sneeze…get your self together
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Alcohol does not make you fat. It makes you lean. Mostly against walls, tables, chairs, bars, floors & occasionally, weirdos ..
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.