Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I had s*x with my friend`s wife last night and now I feel awful. She must have had the flu or something.
Is it a firm rule that you have to be an addict to check into rehab? Because that one in Malibu looks pretty nice.
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
"I believe I can fry" - R Kelly filling out McDonald`s application
I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
My dog can`t hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away
If you are what you eat then where is this place that a ton of people are eating stupid?
I read Facebook for the pictures.
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test.
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
Why don`t they just get Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail?