Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
World Cup Soccer? If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I`d go watch some of my single friends at the bar.
I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
My doctor told me to start killing people. Well it wasn`t those exact words. He said I needed to reduce the stress in my life.
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
When fighting with a clown, always go for the juggler.
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
at this point in life I break my life down into 2 time periods B.N and A.N....Before Netflix and After Netflix
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you`re donating blood...
Just saw the previews for the movie Taken 3, you would think by now he would`ve gave his daughter self-defense and gun lessons?
I’ve yet to be intimidated by a fancy wine list thanks to my vast knowledge of fine wines and my eeny, meeny, miny, moe system.