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Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
Does anyone know how much water I`m supposed to add to this baby powder, to make an infant?
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
YouTube "This video is not available in your country". where the hell am I from? NARNIA?
Job interview `What is your biggest weakness?` `Honesty` `I don`t think honesty is a weakness` `I don`t give a flying *#(@ what you think!`
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
If stress burned calories, I’d be a super model.
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.