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What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
Progress is made by lazy people looking for an easier way to do things
A man made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind ... And now, we wait...
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
If your problem can`t be solved by me saying "damn" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn`t come to me for help.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.
A Whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke.
It’s not pretty being easy.
This bottle of beer is not only delicious,,,, It also contains almost 10% of my daily requirement of beer...
6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married