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Half the journey is knowing where you’re parked.
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.
I`m at my most likable before you get to know me.
My life is a very complicated drinking game
FYI: You can buy wedding cake even if there`s no wedding, those suckers don`t even check
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
There was no bonus fry at the bottom of the bag. But the story has a happy ending. I found it later in my sports bra.
Things that make you go Mmmmmmm - Duct Tape
ATMs should have built in breathalyzers. I would save so much money.
When you are not happy and would like to go back to being young, think of Algebra!