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Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, but so was yesterday, and look how that turned out...
Decisions decisions ... Guess I`ll drink on it.
I`m happy that my grandma thinks that a iPad is for wet and leaking eyes
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.