Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A wise man once said nothing.
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
You’d think “attractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
Congratulations, U.S. Government, you are now officially more embarrassing than Miley Cyrus
R2-D2 from Star Wars, still holds the record for most curse words in a movie.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
I love Costco. You don`t go there thinking you`re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you`ll probably leave with one.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
I don`t own a thesaurus, is `cock meat` a synonym for `fried chicken`?
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........