Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m not drunk, I’m just exhausted from drinking all night.
I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
I like to finish all of my drive thru orders with, "And that`s for here."
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
DAMN! I`m so drunk that I cooked a pizza for 450 minutes at 15 degrees.
Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
You know that you have eaten way too much junk food when you start actually craving something healthy.
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
Feeling pretty good about myself today so I`m going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal
I’m not surprised you’re having problems I had a bad experience with your reality once too.
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
I`ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I`m actually talking to someone.