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You feel naked without your phone, I feel naked without my clothes.
"Grow a pear." - How to insult an apple tree.
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
If my psychiatrist said "There`s really nothing more I can do for you", that means I`m cured right??
Sometimes I post crazy shit just to see if my friend`s list will drop a few #`s
When one door opens & another one closes, your fricking house is HAUNTED!
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol