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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
Apparently, the answer `I know.` is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.
The last 10 seconds of every voicemail my grandmother leaves me is her trying to hang up the phone.
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
It usually only takes about five minutes into any conversation I’m having before people start shaking their head and quoting the bible.
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.