Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you`re not naked near enough.
I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
My bank balance is a constant reminder that I`m safe from identity theft
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
If video games have taught me anything, itβs that if you encounter enemies then youβre going the right way.
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
It`s not cellulite, it`s my body`s way of saying "I`m sexy" ... in braille.
Every have one of those moments where you look at yourself in the mirror and think "Damn if I weren`t me, I`d totally hit that."
I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
Iβve found that the things Iβm most interested in arenβt really in my best interest.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
I wish I had Dora`s mom and dad, they let that girl go everywhere.