Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Putting vodka in my juice, because it`s Russia somewhere.
i feel naked without my mobile !
I like my relationships like I like my eggs: over easy.
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson`s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
Dating Tip: If you eat a magnet and slip another magnet into your date`s drink she`ll never be able to leave you
I have a tremendous sex drive ... My girlfriend lives 25 miles away.
Soup of the day: Tequila.
My friends had a surprise party for me last night, well I called it a surprise party they called it an intervention.
Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I`m available.
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
Is it bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening?
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.