Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter`s school concert.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. ...We launch a bird into pigs!
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
The woman that just drove past me was either doing a huge yawn or her brakes have failed....
If I could keep it short, my life would be so much simpler.
Instead of “single” as a relationship option, it should read “independently owned and operated”
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
Adulthood is basically sadness and paying bills.