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WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don`t f*cking care
I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, it’s like there’s just no reward for laziness.
You can`t make everyone happy, so today I think you should focus on me.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
Just belted the dog in the drivers seat and pushed the car up to the drive-thru window
Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
Not remembering where I set my drink down must be the same feeling parents have when they lose their four year old at the mall.
10% of people genuinely care about your problems. The other 90% are glad that you’ve got them.
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!