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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
Does the Food Network deliver?
What idiot called it "best man" instead of "lord of the rings"
"If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best" literally translates to "I`m a loud, sloppy drunk."
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
The wife and I never really argue except on where to vacation. I wanna go to the beach and she wants to come with me
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push Up Pop.
I told everybody at work that I`ve got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.
Hate it when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and it’s not even in there.
Girl scout cookies suck! I ate like 20 boxes of thin mints and I`m not any thinner.
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`