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What kind of paperwork do I need to fill out to get a permit to set my children free in the wild?
"Man, you know your bible verses forwards and backwards" - said no one ever
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
You can`t find happiness at the bottom of a beer ... Well no kidding, who is happy when their beer runs out?
Ever notice that all the instruments searching for intelligent life are pointed away from earth?
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
That awkward moment when the majority of people think your status is stupid.
I hear boomerangs are making a comeback.
I`ll make better mistakes tomorrow.
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.