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Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there`s really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge.
My short-term memory is my ONLY problem..... Well, that, and my short-term memory
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
I regret buying that straight jacket now. I thought it would look good on me but I just couldn`t pull it off...
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."
It takes so much self control for me not to write, "you sure about that?" under Facebook engagement announcements.
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll