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It`s so hard to find obedient minions
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of adults nowadays who ask kids "What do you want to be when you grow up?" are just trying to come up with some ideas?
Does "who cares" count as advice?
If you get excited that jumping on the bed won`t spill the wineglass on the other side, you`re probably an alcoholic.
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
You never know how little self control you have until they put chips and salsa in front of you at a Mexican restaurant.
I never fail to win at Rock, Paper, Scissors when I pick up the other person and throw them out the window.
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.