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is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
It`s so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way up!
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.
You know that old saying? If you seen one woman naked. You want to see all women naked.