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I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
Have some fun: goto the local bar. Play every Justin Beaber song and leave.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
I found out that middle age is were you finally get your head together and then your body starts falling apart
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
I`m done chasing people who aren`t willing to do the same for me. After today, the ice cream man can go f*ck himself!!
If your neighbor has wind chimes, you have wind chimes.
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn`t want to talk too.
Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, people, cook it right the first time or get out of the kitchen!
Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.