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You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
How to know you have a sunburn: Smack the spot. If you scream in pain, its a sunburn
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
When people say, "You look familiar," i like to reply with, "Do you watch porn?"
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
If I ever win the lottery and someone asks me for money I`m going to give them a dollar and say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That`s what I did."
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
If you forget your hook-up’s name, just take them to Starbuck’s in the morning.
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
The exam hall is the only place on the earth where everyone is desperate for teamwork..
My girlfriend is about to do this ice water bucket challenge. She don`t know yet though she`s still in bed