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Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf´s a minute
I don’t want to think I’m getting old or anything, but all the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting out of bed.
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"