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Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
I just awesomed all over the place.
I woke up with a headache this morning but she went to work.
"Polar bears can`t jump." - Black bears
Social experiments where skinny people wear fat suits teach us to be nicer to fat people because it might be a skinny person in a fat suit.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
I liked your facebook update, only so I can unlike it.
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
I fell asleep with infomercials playing on the TV.... I woke up with a strange desire to do P90X with a Shake Weight while in my Snuggie
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
I feel like people who don`t have at least one bottle of expired salad dressing in the fridge, really have their lives together.
You ever want to just grab someone and say, WTF is wrong with you?
Its almost that time again! That`s right, its holiday season! Merry Black Friday sales, and happy spending!