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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer & a pregnant girl have in common? There was a DUMBASS who didn`t take it out in time.
May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean
You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
Humans claim to be the superior species, but a penguin can use its own body as a toboggan so who`s the real winner?
I`m at my most likable before you get to know me.
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
Dear Social Media, thanks for showing me that I can like people. So long as I don`t have to see, touch, or smell them.
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.