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If you watch COPS backwards it`s just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
The pollen is so bad this year that the people in the trailer parks are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
My friend works at the morgue and apparently tonight is open mike night.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
The girl in the car next to me is totally checking me out. I think she likes me. After I`m done picking my nose, I`m gonna smile and wave.
Don`t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex`s name tattooed.
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
I love sleep ... it’s like a Time Machine to Breakfast.
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make that sh!t perfect.
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
If ANY of my posts have made even one person’s day better, then there’s something seriously wrong with that person
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"