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Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
Unless your kids fundraiser is selling whisley, I`m not really interested
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
So I turned my phone onto " airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst transformer ever!
Put your gossiping skills to the test, go write a novel...
We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper
Don´t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn´t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
Hey, car designers, you have kids, right? How is "limo window partition" between the front and back seat not an option yet?