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I know I have a long way to go but look at how far I`ve come.
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running.
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
Unless you are selling Thin Mints, don’t ever knock on my door.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.
I like people the most when I`m by myself.
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.