Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It`s going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
I’m classically trained in the art of Nintendo.
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
It`s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don`t want anymore children living on our street.
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.