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Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like Iām choking it to death.
I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
Is it a firm rule that you have to be an addict to check into rehab? Because that one in Malibu looks pretty nice.
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
oh look at the time, it`s time to not care
āIā before āEā especially after āPā. Mmmm pie
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
"Holy sh!t, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
Police officer: Ma`am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I`m just as confused as you are.
I hate when a website has a picture that you can click and enlarge. Then the "enlarged picture" is the same exact size as the thumbnail!
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
FUN FACT: If you take all of the marshmellows out of a box of Lucky Chrams, you`ll have a bag of Purina Cat Chow