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is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
Currently helping my girlfriend look for her chocolates that I ate 5 hours ago...
Mondays should start at noon.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
I use profanity, the way Picasso used a paint brush
Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would`ve been if he`d eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
Humans claim to be the superior species, but a penguin can use its own body as a toboggan so who`s the real winner?
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
Dear math, please stop asking us to find your x. She`s not coming back. And we don`t no y either.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.
No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.