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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
It doesn’t matter what it is. It is automatically cool if it glows in the dark.
Just hung a picture. I nailed it.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.