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The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
Basically the way it works is I tell myself I`m not going to eat too much and then I eat too much.
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
Your personality needs alcohol.
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
Have you ever ate something so good that you do a little happy dance while your eating it?
If your parachute doesn`t deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Answer-Big Boobs
Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iphone, open and close their favorite apps. All by themselves. When I was that age, I was eating silly putty.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.