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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
If I could trade places with anyone for a day it would have to be on the day I die. I wouldn`t want to be me on that day.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
Does Starbucks have an express lane if your order is 10 words or less?
Finding friends with the same disorder as you... priceless!
Kids today are so coddled- Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved
What’s the answer to this question?
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.