Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
There’s no excuse for my behavior, so I’m drinking until I have one.
Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?
I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I`ve gotta go find my clothes.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don`t realize how bad it is for their health.....until I`m choking them
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.
Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?