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I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard. My second thought is virgin wizard.
R2-D2 from Star Wars, still holds the record for most curse words in a movie.
You don`t know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
When one door closes, another opens ... I had a Chevette that was like that.
This century is already 15% over.
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
Don´t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn´t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established.
Subway only exists because we`re all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here`s $8."
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles