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Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Don`t judge if you don`t know me. Unless you`re making my pizza & you say "This guy looks like he wants extra cheese" then please do..
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
According to this bathroom stall,,, my ex changed her number again.
I put my head between my legs and lean forward.....thats how I roll
This police sketch artist has no idea that he`s about to draw me as the most bad ass Batman caricature ever.
Well, today was a complete waste of clean clothes.
You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour.