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If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Personally, I believe that around 93% of the world`s population should run with scissors.
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
If men could have multiple orgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.
Tomorrow, history will be made. Months and months of advertisements and anticipation has led up to this historic day. America will see firsthand what is surely to be a historic event, and I am proud to say I will do my part and pick up my copy of Halo 4.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
You know what’s easy? ... Opening another beer
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.