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Don`t half a$$ anything. F*ck it up all the way.
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
I think the spork would have caught on better if they called it "a forkin` spoon!"
The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why i fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again..
Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, "You gotta bring it today!" ... So I packed a lunch and went to work.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
Getting stuff out of my refrigerator is like playing Jenga.
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
I`m not interested in anything that requires 5 hours of energy.
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.