Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
My neighbor thinks I`m crazy and that I`ve been stalking her. well at least that`s what her diary says.
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
Ice cream is clearly God`s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
Got a new blood pressure monitor, says it turns off after 6 minutes of inactivity .....
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
I’m jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.