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I`ve spent approximately 2% of my life walking back to the trash can and checking the box to see how long I need to microwave my food.
I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.
What`s the difference between "Ooooo" and "Ahhh"? About 3 inches.
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
There are 364 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.
If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.