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My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.
Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
It may look like I’m having really deep thoughts but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
Honk if you are reading this.
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts “Batman” when he’s drunk. I know I do.
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
I found a real money maker in selling homing pigeons....... So far this month I sold mine 4 times.
Don`t you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....