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Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
I’m trusting a whole lot of people not to randomly murder me throughout the day.
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
If you can´t say anything nice ... we´re probably related.
Well aren`t you a f*cking waste of two billion years of evolution.
Ever update an app and realize the "fixed issues" were all a lie and it will never be the same? That`s what going back to an ex is like.
Passed a vampire, a zombie, and a prostitute on the way to work tonight. Not sure which ones were in costume…
"Goodbye, everyone. I`ll remember you all in therapy." -Me, leaving a family reunion.
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
I`m really sick of responsibility ... and underwear
I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour.
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.