Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have I posted my Alzheimers joke yet?
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
Today is "find your active cavity at 50% off" day at your local store.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
Starting tomorrow: Whatever Life throws at me… I’m gonna duck so it hits someone else.
Women with big breasts... ...can get a taxi on the worst days ...have a neat place to carry spare change ...have always been the center of the arts (art) ...make jogging a spectator sport ...can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub ...have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them) ...usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie ...can always carry a little extra ...always float better ...know where to look first for lost earrings ...rarely lack for a slow dance partner ...hav
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)
I have blank business cards I hand out and call them my “none of your business” cards.