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I`m pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It`s just that most of them aren`t snitches.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
Guinness for breakfast because its Ireland somewhere.
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
"She really does suck!" could be a complement in the porn industry
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
You call them ‘naps’ but I prefer to call them ‘alcohol-induced aftershocks`
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.