Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I’d go to hell for.
Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
American Sniper proves that not even being in an active war zone will prevent your spouse from calling you at work.
If you wake up with a chick and you dont know her name, take her to starbucks, they`ll write it on the cup.