Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
I wouldn`t want lesbian parents. Not because I`m homophobic. I just don`t want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
I need a thingy to fix the thingy because the thingy came loose and the thingy is wiggly now. Do you sell those? -Me, at Home Depot
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
Some old people are driving vehicles right now and don’t even know it.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
Be careful when you`re watching a movie with your wife. You`re gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does.
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.