Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pizza is my favorite winter activity
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can`t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
I want the job of placing pepperoni slices on frozen pizzas, because clearly whoever has it is now has problems.
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
Good job on the speed traps, cops – How are the murderer traps coming along?
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.