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I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
All the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting up in my truck.
I went to the bank and said I`d like to open a joint account. They said "With who?" I said "Anyone who has a lot of money!"
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
Saw a bird sh*t on my car, so I ate scrambled eggs on my front step, just to show him what I`m capable of.
Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.
Screw you, little sticker on fruit!
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........