Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s so hard to find obedient minions
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Please, if I ever offend you, it’s because I meant to.
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept
I didn`t mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
It won`t be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn`t laugh at something.
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
I`m the perfect man if you don`t factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
My wife told me I have to quit playing poker all the time but I think she`s bluffing...
This morning I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"
My friend thinks he`s so smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.