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I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
No one asks the tough questions, like why are drug dealers on the metric system?
I have no fear of heights. I do, however have a fear of falling from heights.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
It would be a lot easier to drink the recommended 64oz of water a day if it was beer.
Save your breath ... You`ll need it later to blow up your date.
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Dear Fork, I understand that we haven`t spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
Apparently telling the airline stewardess that airplane food is "da bomb dat hijacked my tastebuds" is not considered a compliment......
We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.