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I’m starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
There is always something to be thankful for. If you can’t pay your bills, you can be thankful you are not one of your creditors.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
I can sum up my life in three words: “just browsing, thanks.”
I could never cheat in a relationship, That requires 2 women to find me attractive.
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
Been there, done that. allegedly
Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
None of my girlfriends even know they`re dating me.
I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.
You had me at Rice Krispies Treats
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.