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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
I really need a long road trip, top down, in the Jeep...with a cooler....loud music....and an extra cooler in case the first one isn`t enough
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
If someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
When I`m on my deathbed, I`m definitely going to ask if I can be moved to a different bed.
Even atheists make bargains with God when the toilet water threatens to overflow at a friend`s house.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
I only use elevators for one thing. Surprise group hugs
I wasn`t going to get so many groceries, but there was a new girl working today and she took my check.
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
"I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? `cause I smell carrots..." ~ Snowmen.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.