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Hope I never go to jail, because I haven`t memorized a phone number since 2003.
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
Okay so the pregnant woman in the library didn`t get my `overdue` joke.
I`d better check my phone for texts from friends. *checks phone* Well, I`d better get some friends...
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
If you are stalking me, please keep up, I have a lot of errands today.
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
I’m pretty much always down for a snack.
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
Unless you fell off the stairmaster and a barbell fell on your face... no one wants to hear about your workout.
Hockey: because running on knives makes sense.
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.