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What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
I wish my GPA looked like the gas prices right now...
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
There are a few people I`d like to go to bed with but I can`t think of a single person I`d like to wake up with.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
Success, like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own.
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.
My kid go from "omg...you`re impossible I can`t wait until I`m 18!" To "You`re the best mom ever" in a matter of $100
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
For the past 3 years I have been planning to write an article on Procrastination!!!
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360