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The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
Don`t you just love it when you see someone who is photogenic, looks perfect in every picture but then when you see them in person you`re like EURGH God Damn! What happened to you in the last 24h!
Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
I hate when reality happens outside of my head.
The inside of my fridge: evidence that I’m still not a real adult.