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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
I don`t get it, no matter how many times I call `shotgun` the cops always put me in the backseat.
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
Trust me when I say anyone can dance! - Jack Daniels
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
Every morning I check my girlfriends horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin…just in case.
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has been canceled. In other news, my faith in humanity has been restored.
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
When people tell me knock knock jokes, I pretend I`m not home.
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
That awkward moment when you type your password where you should`ve typed your email, and your friend`s standing right there -___-
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness